


this woman knows of my history

by illclosemyeyes



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-10
Updated: 2016-11-10
Packaged: 2018-08-30 03:57:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8517658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/illclosemyeyes/pseuds/illclosemyeyes
Summary: Supergirl loves flying. She doesn’t tell Lena that, but she doesn’t have to. She flies with ease. It’s like she’s lighter when she’s up in the air.She makes flying look effortless, simple. When she wants up, she’s up in a blink. When she wants down, she dives so quickly that when Lena is around to see it, she always catches her breath.It’s like she can command the wind.





	

**Author's Note:**

> i swear to god this was supposed to be a hogwarts au

Lena never really liked flying. Helicopters, airplanes, or even that time she went paragliding on spring break.

Lena is happier, and safer, with both feet on the ground.

She still flies, of course. And doesn’t even try to actively avoid it; flying is usually the quickest and most reasonable way to get where she needs to be, so she faces it and pretends it doesn’t bother her.

Always have, since that first time she boarded an airplane, her small hands clutching tight to the hands of her new mom, who didn’t even stop to consider this could have been her first time on a plane.

Maybe that’s where her displeasure comes from, she guesses.

 

The near-crash involving her own helicopter was her childish nightmare come alive.

(Years ago, it would have been her _worst_ nightmare. But things change, and Lex is in prison, and she wasn’t enough.)

But then, Supergirl shows up.

And, well, Lena always knew Supergirl could fly, of course, but now that she’s seen it up close, now that her flying has saved Lena’s life, Lena starts paying closer attention.

 

And by paying closer attention, Lena has to wonder if her brother knew of Superman’s secret identity. Because figuring out Supergirl’s, and by extension her cousin’s, was not hard.

She doesn’t make the connection right away, which later astonishes her, because it should have been clear since the first moment Kara Danvers and her cheerful smile entered her office.

But it wasn’t, and it takes Lena a few more meetings, but Kara is not exactly subtle. Neither is her sister. Or her friends.

But she keeps the secret, doesn’t mention anything even to Kara herself.

She understands what is like not being able to trust. She won’t blame Supergirl for not trusting a Luthor. Kara not trusting Lena is another story, though, and it hurts a little.

(And it’s not fair of Lena to do this, to split Kara and Supergirl like they are not one and the same, but she can’t help it.)

 

She tells Kara she hates flying once. Kara, God bless her soul, actually gasps.

Lena laughs, like she always does when Kara is around.

“Don’t look so shocked, Kara,” she says. “Not everyone is _super_ excited about not having their feet on the ground.”

It’s a dig, and it’s unfair, Lena knows it. But sometimes, it escapes, and it’s out before she can stop it.

Kara doesn’t even blink, Lena will give her that. It’s one of those rare occurrences when Kara doesn’t forget that for the public, and supposedly for Lena, she’s two.

“But why?” Kara asks.

And Lena can’t really give her an honest answer. Doesn’t really want to get into the memories of a lonely child who became a part of a rich family but never really felt like she belonged.

“The fact that someone tried to kill me when I was inside of a chopper didn’t help.”

“Supergirl saved you, though,” is Kara’s immediate answer.

“She did, but I can’t expect her to always be there.”

“You can,” Kara says, nodding repeatedly, “you absolutely can.”

And it’s cute, actually, the way Kara’s eyes widen and she fixes her glasses, suddenly looking everywhere but Lena’s eyes.

 

Supergirl loves flying. She doesn’t tell Lena that, but she doesn’t have to.

She flies with ease. It’s like she’s lighter when she’s up in the air.

She makes flying look effortless, simple. When she wants up, she’s up in a blink. When she wants down, she dives so quickly that when Lena s around to see it, she always catches her breath.

It’s like she can command the wind.

Or more like, she makes friends with the wind, smiles at it, and asks for a ride. And the wind is powerless to resist her.

(Lena can relate.)

 

Her brother is gone. Defeated by Superman.

Her mother is gone. Defeated by Supergirl.

And Lena? Lena is home. A few bruises on her skin, a few bruises on her heart.

And even though she didn’t agree with their views, and even though she doesn’t blame neither Clark nor Kara, it still hurts. It stills crumples her, makes her fall to her knees.

And that’s how Kara finds her.

 _Kara_ , not Supergirl.

Kara finds her on her bedroom floor, stoical. Staring at the open doors of her balcony, wishing she could be anywhere but there.

Kara doesn’t try to lift her up. She sits with her instead, reaches a hand for her shoulder.

Lena flinches at first, she can’t help it. She knows what these same hands did just a few hours before.

 _Supergirl’s_ , not Kara’s.

She was there to see it.

But she gives in, the second time. Because it’s not fair, this separation. And it’s not Kara or Supergirl, it’s Kara and Supergirl. They are the same and Lena knows it.

Her hands are strong and Lena’s seen what they can do, but they are also soft. _So soft._ Just like the girl they belong to; powerful and yet so gentle. And she doesn’t blame Supergirl, can’t blame her. Won’t ever. So Kara’s touch on her skin, her arms wrapping around Lena’s shoulder?

That’s comforting. That’s safe. That’s all Lena wants.

“Take me flying,” Lena says.

It should have been an order. Lena meant it that way. But it comes off as begging for it. Kara’s breath hitches.

(In the back of her mind, Lena wonders if Kara even needs to breathe. Or if she’s just so used at pretending that she doesn’t even notice it anymore.)

“What?” Kara asks. “I mean, Lena, I don’t know –“

“Kara,” Lena says, looking up at her. It’s enough to make Kara stop talking.

Lena’s hands come up to Kara’s chest. Her fingers very carefully start to unbutton her shirt, because Lena knows what she will find underneath.

Kara holds her wrists with just one hand, the other still wrapped around Lena’s body, cupping her ribs, holding Lena close.

Lena sighs, tries to move her hands away and Kara immediately lets go.

Kara’s strong, she’s so strong, but she’s also so careful not to hurt her, not to make Lena feel powerless, that Lena falls a little bit more in love, even in a moment like this.

But she’s tired. Tired of the charade, tired of pretending she doesn’t know.

And this time, when Lena’s hand reaches for Kara’s glasses instead, Kara lets her. Lena lets the glasses fall between them, her fingers caressing Kara’s face, her eyebrows, her cheeks, her mouth. She leans closer, rests her forehead against Kara’s.

“Take me flying,” she tries again.

And Kara obliges.

 

Flying with Kara is nothing like flying with an airplane.

In an airplane she always felt stuck, afraid that it was going to break, afraid it would crash.

With Kara, she feels free. The city lights underneath her are going fast, and they are so high up in the air that sounds of the streets barely reach her ears.

It’s mesmerizing. Knowing each light is a person, going with their nights as if the world didn’t change just a few hours ago, knowing that life goes on and the earth keeps turning, and Lena’s life will too.

“Are you okay?” Kara asks.

“No,” Lena answers, her eyes finally leaving the city underneath her and finding Kara’s. The sadness and the guilt she sees there makes Lena’s heart ache. She rests her head on Kara’s chest, lets her body feel Kara’s warmth, tries to listen to a heartbeat that she’s not even sure how it sounds. “But I will be.”

“Okay,” Kara says, but Lena feels her nodding more than she hears the word.

Then Kara adjusts her holding, pulls Lena closer, wraps her hands more firmly around her body, her fingers slipping underneath Lena’s shirt, and for the first time, Lena is not afraid of falling.

 

For the first time, Lena feels safe.            

**Author's Note:**

> title from even the darkness has arms - the barr brothers


End file.
